I’ve been working up the courage to write this, but I figured that if I don’t write it now, I’ll fade into obscurity without a word and that wouldn’t be fair to following and history I’ve created here. I took time away to try to improve my mental condition with the hope that it’d be a quick and easy fix and that I could then return to working on Elysium like normal. However, the longer I work at this the more I’ve realized that might not be a possibility. The process of try to rehabilitate the embedded anxieties and degenerated neurosis I’ve struggled with since childhood is a long and grueling tangle to undo and while stepping away from Elysium has made noticeable difference in my health and my progress towards this goal, it is a long ways off before I could consider myself “better”, if that’s even a possibility in the long run.
I’ve come to the sad conclusion that I do not know when I’ll be returning to Elysium, if at all, and I need to make that clear. I need to step away from Atticus, I have to be me again. I’m 25 years old now, I’m engaged, due to be married this year and Lilly and I want to start moving towards our goal of life and family. Things need to change. I need to move forward. I need to do more in my real life for myself and mine.
To the people I’d consider my friends, here online, I am so sorry to burn these bridges. To the people that poured their time and interest and material support into this project, I am so sorry that I need to leave. I’m going to be ending my patreon shortly and I haven’t taken any funds out of it over the past few months so for anyone who is unhappy with this outcome please feel free to refund your donation. I’ve already paid the hosting on this website for another year and I won’t be doing anything with the discord server, so both will still be here in the time being. But things are what they are.
This has been an important chapter of my life and a great learning experience, one I may be able to move into new projects in the future, even if this all was just a stop gap between my emotional issues. With the death of flash on the near horizon and the pipe-dream scale of what I had wanted out of this, it all was inevitable that things wouldn’t last, but I think it was important for me to have gone through what I did with you all. I’m sad to be yet another dev on the massive pile of dead and gone, but I hope my time here has left others inspired or at the very least, extended people’s faith in the creations of weird independent fetish nerds for a short time. haha.